What are some funny and smart quotes?

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

How do empaths destroy narcissists?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

Will my 9 year old face more difficulties than most girls her age if she’s an early bloomer? My daughter already needs regular B cup bras. The doctor says that my daughter will be even more developed by 11-12 years of age.

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

What are the legal obligations of a new homeowner if the previous owner leaves furniture in the house after moving out?

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”